The way to meet a spouse today has changed dramatically in the last ten years or so. Most single people now will not go out looking for their ‘soul mate’ or even for a partner, instead they prefer to delve into the innovative world of online dating. There are countless sites one can go on these days and each one has their own unique function. However, how can we truly know who a person is over a computer (or more likely a tablet or a smart phone)? An incredible 9.1 million people have used or are using dating websites in the UK alone, yet we are a nation of singletons and divorcees. So the question becomes, what are these sites used for?
One of the main things is easy sex. Apps for these websites have made ‘hooking up’ easier than ever before, even telling you how close someone is to you. This dating game has made a large percentage of us sex crazed and not even knowing ourselves as we use different personas to impress others and to make friends. One of the most popular apps used in the UK is ‘Tinder’. Tinder, as I understand it, is a site where you can get matches with people depending on whether you both swiped right for ‘like’ or not. If you get a match or matches, you can then message said person. Most people use it for easy and no strings attached sex, particularly on a night out as you can see where the closest people are to you through your location and radius.
Understandably, some people use dating websites as they haven’t got the confidence to go out and meet someone, but feel safer starting a relationship behind a keyboard and can be themselves rather than putting on a front. However, the trouble is now, a lot of people use these site’s to find something casual or uncomplicated, making it that little bit harder to meet someone and have something long term. With this uncertainty surrounding what people are actually searching for and whether what they say is what they actually mean. The trust has completely gone nowadays, even between a group of friends. So many people have had their hearts broken and trust destroyed through fatal relationships and friendships.
Many people believe that because of this, there are no ‘decent’ men or women out there and it is easier to have uncomplicated relationships and not invest emotionally in anyone or let them see the ‘real’ you. But where does that leave the men and women who are looking for the ‘one’ and feel that time is running out? Meeting a spouse online always has an element of risk with it as well as how do we know the person we are talking to are really who they say they are? Looks are also deceiving and make up has had a helping hand in that, causing problems for both sexes. Women contour their faces to within an inch of their lives, wear false eyelashes and copious other cosmetics (not to mention all of the filters available to edit pictures) – which ultimately causes a huge issue as they look totally different in real life and some men feel lied to and misled.
This goes back to a previous point of what would happen if we all woke up tomorrow feeling happy with ourselves? Everyone would be more confident with themselves and there would be no need for pretence and trying to be someone else just to impress a stranger. The internet, social media and online dating have created a virtual world where nothing seems real or sacred and where people seem easier to dispose of than actual things that have no true bearing on our lives.